It’s a problem faced by many couples: One partner is ready to make a lifestyle change, but the other isn’t. When this mismatch involves exercise, tensions can quickly rise. Even when you have the best of intentions, insecurity and even jealousy can lead to fights and resentment.
So how can you motivate a partner to prioritise their health? Whilst no method is foolproof, you can take steps to encourage success.
- Approach the subject gently. Putting your partner on the defensive could derail any chance for change. Insults, name calling and criticising them are big no-nos. Instead, voice your ideas in a positive way, such as suggesting that it would be a good idea for both of you to get in shape. Showing your spouse an old photo or video could also lead to changes without you needing to say a word.
- Share why you’re making a change. Your spouse may react negatively to your new healthy lifestyle, because they don’t understand why you want to change. Be honest and open about your reasons. Whether you want to improve your quality of life or gain a better self-image, sharing your struggles could help your loved one open up about their own.
- Reiterate your concerns about their health. If your partner is still reluctant, gently spelling out your concerns may help. You may want to keep them fit and healthy so you can live a long and happy life together. Or perhaps you worry about the example you’re both setting for your children or grandchildren. Urge him or her to visit a doctor—their professional opinion may carry more weight than your own.
- Invite them to join you. Asking your partner to exercise with you may be all the motivation they need! Let your significant other tag along to a fitness class so they can decide if it’s for them. If not, try finding activities you enjoy doing together or book a couples appointment with a personal trainer at your local gym. Having a buddy can help you both stay on track and make fitness more fun.
- Lead by example. It may be tough, but staying strong for the two of you can help your partner stick to their new routine. If your spouse sees you regularly skipping workouts or binging on unhealthy snacks, they’re more likely to do so too.
- Reward yourselves. It’s important to celebrate successes. This helps you mark your progress and stay motivated. Set a series of small, personal goals you each want to work towards, and how you’ll reward yourselves when you reach them. Then set a larger shared reward to celebrate after you meet them all. Having a single reward you’re both working towards will add extra accountability and motivation.
- Don’t give up. If after several attempts your partner is still reluctant to exercise, you may be ready to throw in the towel. It can be frustrating, but remember that everyone is different and must take things at their own pace. Continue to provide loving encouragement, and keep working towards your personal fitness goals. With any luck, your partner will come around to your way of thinking!
Having trouble staying motivated? Learn to overcome the most common exercise challenges.
About Author: Momentum Life is a leading provider of Life insurance and Funeral insurance in New Zealand.
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