5 Things people forget to do when they lose a loved one
Published on Fri Aug 21 2020 in Family
The death of a loved one is never easy, especially if you are responsible for their final arrangements. There are likely many things that will need to be done as you help wrap up their final business, from locating important documents to planning the funeral. Understandably, some tasks may be overlooked.
Here are five things people often forget to do when a loved one passes away.
1. Consider who should know (& how to tell them)
In the hours and days after someone dies, you’ll spend time notifying family, close friends and work colleagues. However, there may be others who you’ll also want to tell.
This might include contacting members of your loved one’s house of worship, people they met through community or volunteer work, immediate neighbors, alumni organisations, or friends from social groups (such as a book club or sport team). You probably won’t be able to contact everyone, but making an honest effort to reach most people will likely be appreciated.
How you tell others about your loved one’s passing is up to you, but it may help to consider how you’d want to learn the news in a similar situation. Social media is a common way to share someone’s death, however, it may not be appropriate to post right away. Making a few extra phone calls and giving people a day or two to spread the word in person might be more sensitive. This can then be followed by a social media post that includes details of the funeral or memorial service.
2. Find their funeral wishes document
People sometimes have preferences for parts of their funeral (or all of it). In some cases, they may have written down these wishes to help guide those who will one day arrange the service and burial.
Funeral wishes may be recorded in a Will, but not always. In fact, it’s often recommended that people create a separate document to address these final wishes or any preparations they’ve already made.
If you’ve located your loved one’s Will and other important documents, check if they’ve included any funeral wishes. This may include things such as how they’d like their remains handled or details for a pre-purchased cemetery plot. This information could save you time, money and possibly some stress. If no instructions are found, you may want to check with other family members or close friends to see if your loved one ever spoke to them about their final wishes
3. Contact their life or funeral insurance company
Along with funeral wishes, some people make arrangements to help pay for their funeral, final debts or more. This may include taking out a life insurance or funeral insurance policy.
If your loved one took out life or funeral insurance, it may be wise to start a claim as soon as possible after their death. Depending on the type of policy, funds could be transferred to the beneficiary’s account in a matter of days. A phone call to the insurer could help you get started with the paperwork.
Hopefully, your loved one has kept their policy documents with other important paperwork to make the claims process easier. However, things may get misplaced or lost before their death. If you’re unsure if they had a policy (or from where), you might want to check their bank statements, if you have access. You may see a recurring payment for the premiums that could point you to the right insurer.
4. Handle social media and other online accounts
It’s likely that your loved ones will leave behind a digital footprint when they pass away. Even older family members may have social media profiles, as well as things such as online shopping accounts or important info saved to a computer or smartphone.
It may not seem important to deal with their social media or online profiles. However, neglecting these accounts could leave them open for fraud or identity theft.
Some people leave behind information in a Will or other document for how to access their digital and online accounts. This could make it much easier to gain control, download important files and close any accounts.
5. Take care of yourself
Contacting others, paying final debts, arranging a funeral, hosting family members and closing online accounts… with so much to do during this time, it can be easy to forget to take care of yourself.
Though your thoughts are understandably with your deceased loved one, it’s important to also consider your own needs. Neglecting your emotional, mental and physical health could make handling grief even harder.
Asking for help could remove some of the burden from your shoulders. Having others take care of some of the arrangements could give you time to rest and reflect on your own feelings. You may also want to take time to exercise (even a walk around the block) or speak with a mental health professional, if needed.
The death of a beloved family member is often a difficult time. It can be easy to forget things as you make arrangements while grieving. Hopefully, this article will help make things a bit easier as you go about closing out their final business and saying goodbye.
Unsure if your parents have thought about their future? Try these 7 steps to help them prepare.
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About Author: Momentum Life is a leading provider of Life insurance and Funeral insurance in New Zealand.
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